Wednesday, September 21, 2005
all i want is dance
hello. havent blogged since aft e hols.. hav been busy.. but i jus want to blog now, coz i jus want to say smth..
wat do u do when all u want to do is to dance? even worse, if ur parents think it is of no future and useless taking it? they pointed out tt the entertainment world (which includes dance) is not-so-clean, and wld put me in a dangerous situation.
okay wat happened was coz there was this mini "universities talk" featuring 4 liberal arts universities from US, and three out of four of them offer dance as a course. so i was thinking of taking genetics or stuff for my major, and dance as my minor.. i would rather take both as major but i bet my parents wont allow.. so there i was stating nicely tt i hope to be able to do dance as a minor, and my parents told me straight out, NO.
"oh mayb u can pick it up aft u graduate, when u've started working, or aft u get married?" no wayy. by then i'll be too stiff. it'll b too late. my present age, until abt 20, is e best time to polish up my technique and stuff. in fact i think 16's alrdy alittle late.
"we're not unreasonable. if wat u loved and want to do is good, beneficial to the society, and u can use it to serve in e christian ministry, by all means we'd support you! like if u say u suddenly reaquire e love for piano, we'd definitely support you!" but i dont want to play the piano! i want to dance! (i sound like amanda schull in center stage, when she said 'i dont want to go to college. i want to dance!')
i donno. does anyone understand my agony? i jus want to keep dancing, at least polish up my technique first.. sure i'm interested in human genomes, biochem stuff, but i want to dance as well! i don mind taking it as a minor, i jus want to still be doing it! it doesnt matter if i really am gg to join a company.. i don think my parents will allow me to anw. i wont, i dont think i am gd enuff to make it into any company, but i jus want to love dance and enjoy, express myself with dance. why?
why cant i do dance? i'm not gg to go into the entertainment world. i'll most prob jus do dance in university and acquire new knowledge plus better technique. i've more or less known wat i wanna do as a career.. biotech stuff, researching human genomes, creating better tasting medicine.. ya. i dont think i'll ever be a professional dancer. not lyk my parents will allow me. but why cant i jus indulge in dance until it's finally time to say goodbye and concentrate on my field of study?
it's lyk a knife u noe. when ppl tell u tt no way u cant do wat u want to do. it has no future and useless and bad. it's lyk a big blunt knife, cutting right thru u, and being blunt it hurts u so so much.
bleahh i'm sorry if this post has made my blog sound so desolate depressed cold.. ya actually i rarely write such stuff here, but i wanna show tt my life's not jus bliss.. it's a real struggle!
hmmm okie la gotta stop wallowing.. hav to study again! haha if don study can forget abt gg overseas to study.. yupp.. so everyone jia you and press on!
and to me too, as i cont to pursue dance :)
xiao jo
@ 6:15 PM
____________*____________
tag;
blog;
links;
me;